This month we take a closer look at the Scholarly Textiles Department. This department premiered in 2008 to universal confusion and a record loss in profits. Though, once customers stuck their toe in the lava, they realized the burn wasn’t too bad and the department eventually got back to “break even” status. Over the last few months, subscribers have been treated to rewards such as “Karl Marx Hoodie”, “Shakespeare Nylon Valance”, and “Aristotle Flame Retardant Peacoat”. These became “hot items” and were quickly knocked off by several foreign companies and sold online. GGI was able to quickly sue all of the companies involved in the infringement, and monopolize the world of Scholarly Textiles once again. Looking to the future, Scholarly Textiles has begun a new series based on the life of Rhodes Scholars such as “Strobe Talbott Tobaggen”, “George Stephanopoulos Throw Pillows” and “Terrence Malik Mumu”. Always looking to completely dominate the competition, GGI was able to “forge” some “records” and obtain the patent rights to all blankets and quilts. This put earnings through the roof and has reasserted GGI as a worldwide player. Not even a year old, Scholarly Textiles has firmly established itself as one of the Top 100 Rewards Programs.
GGI Spotlight
September 18, 2008
This quarter we focus on the Invaluable Metals rewards department. With 6.2% per capita gain, they exceeded their July projections and were able to fend off several impending law suits and one wrongful death claim. By focusing on a brand new tin substitute known as Mallorkine, the team was able to trim costs by $0.002 per square mile, prompting some team members to propose starting a self substantiating Mallorkine rewards department. The team also saw increased sales in Fools Gold Bars, Aluminum Shavings, and Biscuitized Sheet Metal scraps.
September 3, 2008
This quarter we focus on Ron Zuckis, manager of the Park Bench rewards department. In 2006 after a host of inferior Park Benches were imported from Japan, Switzerland, and Uraguay, the Park Bench community was left in disarray. Ron saw this opportunity to push the more expensive yet highly reliable Park Benches to our customers throughout the world. Fast forward to 2007, Ron’s ideas lead to a total overhaul of his department. Ron, however, was initially fired from his position due to the complete failure of said overhaul to solve any of the problems as well as the misplacing of one GGI company truck. Ron was then rehired 4 days later at half salary. He has since gone on to produce significant profits and is currently on sabbatical. Well done Ron.
